A Very Overdue Happy New Year

First off, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write an update! A month seems like a long time, but it flew by and it's been my busiest yet, so sitting down to blog wasn't really a priority. But if I put it off much longer, I'll be tempted to make this too wordy and that's never good. So here are the highlights from the last month, as short and sweet as I think I'm capable of making them : )

December:

• I ended up getting into the holiday cheer after all, and had a lovely Christmas. I was able to video chat with my family and open gifts with them, which made me feel a little closer to home!
  
• My friend Shana came to stay with me for the weekend of Christmas, and her spontaneous trip drove me to be spontaneous as well: I tried roasted and marinated silk worm larvae one night, and the next day I tried freshly chopped mini-octopus tentacles. The tentacles were still wriggling, so you have to chew really hard and really fast so they don't stick to your mouth or esophagus. If they attach to the esophagus, you can suffocate and die. It was a thrilling way to spend my first Christmas away from home!
• I worked on Christmas, New Years Eve and New Years, which wasn't too bad actually. I got a sweet card from one of my students and she made me feel better about working on Christmas. It read
  

"To T. Kendra. Hi Teacher! I'm ____. I'm really happy that you teach me [Reading and Writing, Listening and Speaking]. Today is Christmas...Actually, in Christmas, you should be with your family but you can't...However, you can be with your student!! Merry Christmas!"

She put into words how I felt anyway, which was that a day with students was better than a day alone at home, and in addition to her card I got a few treats from other students as well, which made me feel appreciated and like I was where I belonged.

• I got sick right before New Years Eve with a cough and cold that has lasted until now, so that's been no fun. New Years Eve was spent with a few co-workers at an Indian Restaurant and watching the countdown in Seoul on TV. Then I went home to cough myself into the New Year.

January:

• Since I teach at a private English academy, we don't have winter vacation (hence working on Christmas and New Years), and instead we teach extra classes during the month that our students have a break from public school. Our whole schedule changes so we work days instead of evenings, and I am teaching an extra three-hour class two mornings a week. I actually love the class because it's a listening class, but the listening is US sitcoms! We work on dictation, fluency, accuracy, and comprehension skills. Unfortunately the wrong books came, so the material is too high for the kids, but that just means that we work through everything really slowly, which is fine by me that early in the morning. My class is full of sweet kids, too, and I try to keep things fun and upbeat since I know it's their vacation and their parents are making them take extra English classes instead of sleeping in or having fun, which is how I spent my breaks when I was their age.
  
• I started working with a comedy sketch group in December, and have met a great new group of people through that, which has been exciting. It's nice to branch out from my school and get involved with things on my own. This past weekend I went to an open mic night and shared my spoken word poetry, which I hadn't done since leaving the US, and met some cool new people through that as well. It's so important to find things that make you feel like you, even when you're thousands of miles away from the people and things that feel the most familiar. I still love Korea, but I also know I'm getting into that phase where I need to combine things from my life in the US with my life here, or I'll feel even farther away than I am.
  

Well that brings me up to the present! I promise to try to write more often, though, and I'd like to start writing more about Korea and not just my life, but what I'm learning and observing, so hopefully if I write more often I'll be able to share more of that as well!

Scrooge Days

So I've been less than enthusiastic about the holidays this season, though I am beginning to slowly get more into the festive atmosphere...I even have found myself humming the occasional carol. But, I think it's also just that three month mark coupled with the sense of loneliness that we can't help but feel when we know we'll be away from people we love on a day filled with memories. So here is my sappy post (really, my apologies, I try to only do this once in a blue moon, which is fitting since we'll have one of those on Dec. 31st)...

While my coworkers are gathering lights and decorations and small trees for their rooms, I have been basically pretending that no special days have passed, nor will they, while I am here in Korea. I've been telling myself that if I don't think about the holidays, then they will just go by like any other day, and I won't spend time thinking about the traditions going on without me, or the excitement of seeing people and sharing gifts and meals, etc. But then, yesterday was my sister's birthday, and talking to her on the phone and hearing my nieces and nephew in the background made it all very real. I will not be seeing them in a week, or hear my niece reading a book to me for the first time. I won't get to see how big the baby is, or get pictures to remember them at that age. When I called, one of them said, "Aunt Kendra sounds so far away..." and my sister said, "That's because she is." So now that the inevitable has happened, and I have been forced to think about all of those moments I will be missing, I suppose it's about time I rejoice in the holiday season and start really getting into the spirit of things, since my only other choice is to be a grinch, and no one wants that.

Term Transitions and Thanksgiving Travels

Last week and this week have been busier than usual, so I have a lot of updates!

Last week was our final week of the term. Our terms are 13 weeks, and I came in at week 4 of the previous term. It was hard saying goodbye to my students, because I'd really grown to adore some of my classes. I got every class treats, ranging from candy to pizza, which was fun. On the last day, in my high-beginner class, the Korean staff surprised us by coming into class with pizza - for being the "best class" apparently. I was so excited, because they were a really wonderful group of students (14 kids, which could have been crazy if they hadn't been good students), and I had no idea that we were getting pizza, so it was a fun surprise for everyone!

After work on Friday we went out to dinner as a whole office, which was a lot of fun. I sat next to two of the Korean staff person for the "best class" I had, and I told her how nice it was to be surprised with pizza, and that I'd really miss that class. Then, she told me that when she spoke with my students' parents, they told her that my kids had talked about me at home, and about how much they liked me. Some even said they didn't want to move up to the next class level (most of them passed their level-up tests) because they would miss having me as a teacher. I was so touched, I almost cried right there at the table! I knew from meeting with some parents that a few kids had said nice things, but for my co-worker to tell me that kids were really going to miss me - that was about the best thing I could have asked for. In fact, this week many of my students from that class have come to hang out in my room during their break to say hi and see what I'm doing. It really helped me feel more confident and prepared going into my new classes this week.

The verdict is still out on my new classes. I have the same high-beginner level class, but most of the students are new. I had 26 kids combined from those classes last term, and only 6 of them are still at the same level with me now - which is good, because it means 20 of them improved enough to move up! I also have a listening class at a higher level than last term, but with some of the same students who leveled-up to this class. I teach that level three times a week, and so far it's ok. I'll have to wait to see what happens next week, because many students missed this week for middle-school exams. Today and tomorrow I'll have two new reading classes. I've never taught reading before, so I'm a bit nervous, but I've prepared a lot, so I think things should go well. Besides, unlike listening, in reading class the students can see what we're talking about; in listening I just have to hope they are catching enough from the CD. Overall, though, I think this term will go well, and I am looking forward to the challenges of teaching more classes, and also the greater variety of students each week (listening and reading classes only meet once a week, so I have 5 different classes for those, and 2 different high-beginner classes).

...

On a more fun note, I went on a trip this past weekend to visit my friend Allina from Ithaca College. She lives up north in Pyeongtaek, and we also went to Seoul and met up with another friend from college, Shana.

When I arrived in Pyeongtaek, Allina and her dad took me to explore Camp Humphrey's, the second-largest (soon-to-be largest) US military base in Korea. It was huge and very surreal. I felt like I was in a different country - and technically, I was on US soil. The shops and cafes used US dollars, the people were wearing sporting US-styled clothing, Koreans were in the minority, and I heard almost no Korean spoken. It was the strangest experience, and very interesting to experience. I'm so glad to have had the opportunity to see that. It reminded me a little of the base I was at with my grandmother in Virginia last year, and that similarity was almost jarring, knowing that I was in Korea, an ocean away. It also made me really miss my grandparents, since I spent last Thanksgiving with them - which is when I visited the base near them. I wonder what US military installment I'll visit next Thanksgiving!!

Later, at Allina's, we cooked a real Thanksgiving dinner, with some twists. Her family has a real oven, so we baked a delicious zucchini quiche, and had stuffing, gravy, a mushroom-pepper saute, mashed potatoes, and green-bean casserole. It was fantastic, and I stuffed myself until I was pleasantly full and feeling the holiday spirit.

...

The next day we headed to Suwon to meet Shana, and had hoped to check out the UNESCO fortress and Traditional Folk Village there, but it was a cold, rainy day, so we hopped on a train to Seoul instead. We decided to go to COEX, a huge exhibition hall with a giant mall underneath, where one of the largest bookstores in the country is located. I bought a Korean textbook/workbook for myself, as well as a handy phrasebook with more casual Korean to use with my friends at work. After that we headed to Lotte World, the Korean version of Six-Flags - indoors. There is also an outdoor part, but since it was raining we stayed inside. We started out watching a really well-done musical theatre show of Cinderella with acrobatic reindeer and Santa as the fairy godmother. Bizarre? Yes. A good show? Yes. We spent a good portion of our time in Lotte World just oooing and ahhing over the cutest Korean babies and toddlers I've ever seen.

The kids in this picture were having a semi-miserable, yet hilarious time on the mini-drop. If you've ever been on the Giant Drop, you can get the picture - imagine little kids bouncing up and down in a jarring fashion as the bench suddenly goes up and then drops slightly every so often. We were laughing, but it was kind of sad, too - one girl was leaning into her mom's shoulder and bawling on the other one, but they couldn't stop the ride : (

We went on some rides, including the rollercoaster, and I bought the picture of us that they took while we were riding, but I don't have a way to upload it yet, unless I take a picture of the picture. After Lotte World we headed to an Indian restuarant, which made my day. Indian food is my favorite, and it's so hard to find here, so I hadn't had it in three months - since leaving the US! It was pricey, but very worth the cost. I got Palak Paneer with Naan, and it was fabulous. Just thinking about it makes me hungry!

When we got back to Pyeongtaek, Allina and I decided to head to the jimjilbang/sauna near her house. I've been wanting to go to one since arriving, but my friends are more modest than I am, and I've been too nervous to go alone. The jimjilbang is basically a public bath-house with a common area, and sometimes also a restuarant, sleeping rooms for men and women, an exercise room, a norebang room (karaoke), a hair salon, a waxing salon, a PC room, and a TV area. They can be small, with only a few or none of those, or they can be decked out with the whole 9 yards. This one had it all.

On the floor above, there is a sauna for each sex. You start in the shower, where you rinse off briefly, so you're clean for the other sections. Then there are sauna rooms - one with dry heat and wood interior and one with humid head and quartz interior, which Koreans think brings good health when you breathe in the wet, hot quartz air. After the sauna, you can choose from the hot tub, the medium tub, or the cold tub (which had strong jets so you could swim against the current even though it was a small). Unfortunately, we went late at night (jimjilbangs are open 24 hours a day - hence the sleeping rooms) and arrived during cleaning time, so after they cleaned the tubs were still filling, and the water was far too hot to sit in. So we went from the sauna to the second set of showers, where you exfloiate. I had to buy a little scrubber when I arrived (1,000won = .80 USD) and you use a special soap to scrub yourself pink - or, in my case, red. The Koreans, Allina included, all have lovely tan skin that only turns a little bit pink. But of course, with my ivory skin, the scrubbing left me as red as a strawberry. The important thing was that I felt great! Refreshed, relaxed, and rejuvinated.

When we left to get changed, I also had a lovely little encounter with a hamoni, an older Korean women, who had kindly smacked me on the leg earlier when she first saw me, laughing as she went. Again, she smacked me in a good-sported manner and apparently told me I was pretty. I said the only thing I knew to be appropriate: komapsumnida (thank you), repeatedly - so she laughed and asked Allina if I knew any other Korean words. I laughed, too, and said, "Meanhamnida, aniyo Hanguk" (which badly translates to 'sorry, no korean'). She laughed and said "good girl" (or so Allina says - she could have called me a cheeky American for all I know.)

Anyway, all in all, it's been a great week, from the end of term, to visiting friends, to coming back to new classes and familiar Busan. It felt amazing to step off the train and feel like I was coming home - back to a familiar subway, names, places, and, of course, my cozy little apartment.

Kimbap with the Kids

When my boss asked me a week ago if I'd come in to work on a Saturday to help with a kimbap party (like sushi, but Korean, so it's better) I said yes because I like to make my boss happy. But I was a little nervous, b/c most kimbap has meat in it, and my boss has, on a number of occasions, encouraged me to start eating meat because it's so delicious - apparently.

Another teacher and I were asked to come in, and when we arrived neither of us were really sure what to expect. I was thrilled to discover that our boss has gotten aprons for us, and that we would be setting up the room into two teams: Kendra's kids versus Daniel's kids. Since it was Daniel's birthday, I told him we might let his team win, but I knew my team was better from the beginning.

I was excited to see some of my kids from class show up - it was a mixed group of students, all of whom were there on a saturday to take a big placement test for middle school or high school, and they wanted to have a fun activity to make the day better for them. The kids from my class who came were very excited to see me chopping radishes and slicing strips of fired egg and tofu.

Once all of the ingredients were set out, we got down to business. To make kimbap, you take a large square of dried seaweed and lay it flat, ideally on a placemat made of sticks to roll it after. Then, you take a handful or two of rice - to your liking - and smooth it over the seaweed so it makes a layer. Next, take a seasame leaf and lay it over the rice, then fill the leaf with some ingredients - tuna, crab, and ham are favorites, but I of course opted for fried tofu. Then you wrap the meat or tofu into the leaf so it's neatly rolled. Add other ingreditents next to the wrapped meat/tofu, such as pickled radish, fried egg, carrots, cucumbers, etc. Then, take the edge of your placemat and press the seaweed as you roll, to make a beautiful cylinder. I was thrilled when I helped some of the students roll theirs when they had trouble, because they thought my rolling was fantastic. One student praised me because it was so clean and perfect. Just like me.... ; )
I was very proud of my first kimbap, as you can see in the picture. I made a small plate of the slices, and you can sort of see the radish, tofu, and egg rolled up in the leaf at the center of the rice. I was thrilled that it worked well, and even my meat-eating friends thought it was yummy! Now I can make it at home, too - and it's so easy!

Near the end, we went to work creating a beautiful platter of each team's kimbap. I took a piece from each student to make ours, and one girl helped me a lot - the same one who thought I...I mean, my kimbap...was clean and perfect. She thought a flower would be nice, and that we could add leaves, and then I helped by arranging it with the leaves underneath, which she thought was very cool. There is no better ego trip than hanging out with adoring children. I was very proud of my team and our blossoming kimbap platter.
Daniel's team thought their's was better - it looked neat and professional, but really, where was the creativity? So in the end, we didn't really declare a winner. I think the truth is that they didn't want to tell Daniel that he'd lost on his birthday...but we clearly were the best : )

Payday No.2 and Musings

Although today was my second payday, it sort of feels like my first, since last month I wasn't here for the full month. Now, my money was deposited directly into my account, and my taxes were taken out (to be returned to me at the end of my sojourn). It feels fantastic.
...
My first class today made want to cry and scream and give up more than once during our three hours together. I have a student who keeps up a running commentary in English, Korean, and nonsense humming. I have a student who can't sit still and insults other children in Korean so I can't catch him doing it until they have retaliated. I have great students who are too shy to speak up unless I call on them directly, and if I call on them when they aren't expecting it, all I get is silence. I have students who call out random answers when it's not their turn to talk. I have two girls and ten boys, and the girls zone out and even start to fall asleep if I'm not constantly trying to pull them in - which is hard when the ten boys are constantly trying to get my attention in negative ways.

But after three hours they left, and my favorite students ambled in for my favorite class. Even with only half of them there, they brightened my mood immediately. Even though the lesson was difficult, they managed to stay focused, have fun, make jokes, ask questions and give answers that were good. They made me feel like my efforts weren't going to waste, and every week I appreciate them for that, and more. Still, it was a draining day at work overall, and I was glad when the final bell rang.
...
A few of us went to the casino to celebrate payday by blowing some of our money, since we're responsible adults and all that...It was fun, even though I lost money, because it felt nice to just be out and not panicking about having enough money right now. I can afford to be irresponsible for one night, and I wanted to experience that, because I never really have allowed myself a moment like that before. For most of my life I've felt guilty for spending money, and for some reason today I just wanted to let myself be stupid and not berate myself for it. It's not a habit I intend to keep up, but it was a nice break for my overworked conscience.
...
I took a cab home and decided to be dropped off a few blocks from my house because I just wanted to walk and be outside, even if it was the middle of the night. By the time I got home, rather than feeling like I'd exerted enough energy, I wanted even more to get out, so I put on my iPod, wrapped my knees, tied up my tennis shoes and headed outside. I wasn't planning on running, since that usually ends with my knee twisted at a strange angle or my lungs exploding from an asthma attack, but tonight I felt calm and self-assured. I started jogging and kept going until my lungs hurt - but not so badly that I couldn't breathe - and slowed to a fast walk. I kept up alternating as I crossed streets, headed up back alleys and ambled over the hill behind my house. I got home just as the Arcade Fire album I'd put on was coming to an end, which felt somehow significant.

As someone who has never been a runner, I've spent many years being jealous of people who could just run until their problems and thoughts and concerns fell away with the thudding of their feet on the pavement. When I swam, I felt the same release, but there are no swimming pools that I know of here. And when I dance I feel that way, but dancing alone in your apartment isn't the same as getting out and dancing until your feet blister, which is the best way to do it when you need to get out of your head. So tonight, for the first time in my life, I decided to chance a knee injury and an asthma attack for that feeling. I know that my knees will feel weaker tomorrow, but today I feel so much stronger than I did before I went jogging.

At night, Saha is such a quiet, peaceful place. When you get off the main road, the lights are off, the doors are closed, and the people seem to disappear into their apartments. As I walked and ran past closed restaurants and stores, I felt a serenity that I haven't had the pleasure of experiencing in awhile. At one point, I headed up a set of stairs just to see where they would lead, and ended up passing a quiet set of apartments on the hill behind my building. At the end of the row was a fence, and as I stood there looking out across my neighborhood, I was mesmerized. Gray clouds from our rainy day passed across a velvet sky and brushed over the tops of mountains, while lights sparkled across the hills from apartment buildings and scattered neon signs. The wind was whipping against my skin in waves, like standing in the ocean without getting wet. I could have stood there for hours, but I knew it would be sweeter if I left.
...
There are moments here in Korea when I want to be other places. There are moments when my students make me feel frustrated and impatient. There are moments when not understanding the language makes me feel lost and overwhelmed and incompetent. There are moments when my appearance is enough to make me want to stay inside, away from the stares.

But all of that falls away most of the time. All of that can't really compare to how grateful I am to be here, experiencing life with a new perspective, a new location, and a new vocation. I love having my own space to come home to at night. I love cooking for myself and taking care of myself and deciding when to get up and when to go to sleep without anyone around to fuss about it. I love my students. I love getting to know them as individuals and I love learning from them. I love that they make me crazy, even when I hate it, because it's teaching me my limits and helping me learn patience. I love getting to know new people and figuring out who I am here and where I fit in or where I don't. I love deciding to go jogging at 1am and finding stairways and seeing landscapes that take my breath away. I love going out on the weekends to the bars on the beach, where I can get away from the noise and the people and walk across the sand and touch an ocean I'd only dreamed about before. I love this.

My Students - A Poem

I wrote this the other day and posted it for a few people on facebook, but I realized my blog is also a good place for it. It was inspired by my worst class, when I was watching them take their final exams and suddenly was flushed with pity and warmth for them, even though they usually make me want to pull out my own hair and throw it at them. Which I would never do, but it's the best way I can think of to describe the way they typically make me feel. Other adjectives to desrcibe how they often make me feel could include: frustrated, outraged, nonplussed, distraught, and crestfallen. But on this one day - after they almost made one of the Korean staff members cry before she shouted that they made her very angry and slammed the door on the way out, forgetting her clipboard in the process - on this one day I watched them struggle through a test that seemed too hard for them, watched them squirm and wiggle and sigh and roll their eyes. And since I didn't have to try to teach them on that day - since I only had to proctor the test, watching them wish they were anywhere else, I felt, deep down, the need to write. It's not my best work, but it's a short glimpse of what my students bring out in me - in a positive way.

my students

they sit
heads bent
shoulders hunched
as if Confucius
himself were sitting
on their necks,
breaking their
spirits with his
mandates.
their eyes
hold secrets
I can't see
or understand
and they would never tell me
even if they could.
i want to sweep them
into my arms
and wrap them
in quilts
so soft
so they can sleep.
and when they wake
i wish them
just one
timeless
day
to spend as children,
not robots
training
for more workdays
endlessly stretching
in every
direction,
the only way
they've been told to be.

Ulsan

This weekend I headed to Ulsan with two of my friends to stay with our other friend who teaches there. We had a great time getting lost the first night...but seriously, we turned around a bad situation and got to see a lot of a new city, so that was pretty cool. It would have been cooler without all of my stuff and if our friend hadn't been waiting for us for an hour...but it all worked out in the end.

Our friend has an amazing apt. compared to ours. He actually has two bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, and a bathroom. We have two rooms in our apts: a bedroom/kitchen and a small bathroom. Suffice it to say, we were pretty envious of his pad. Since we arrived later than anticipated, we couldn't head out to the beach or the temple, which we'd thought about doing, but we ended up having a very chill evening with some wine, tv, and good conversation, in addition to popping over to check out one of the foreigner bars in Ulsan - and finding that we enjoyed staying at home over staying out with the crowd that was there.

Today we were hoping to go to the beach, but it started to rain so we decided it was a good day to go see a movie. After a beautiful brunch spread made by our fabulous host, we headed out to the movie theatre. The Time Traveler's Wife is finally subtitled and in theatres here, and all of us had either kind of/sort of wanted to see it or really wanted to see it, and it turned out it was set to start at the exact time we were looking to buy tickets. One of the best parts of the day was when we figure out how to use the automated ticket machine that was only in Korean with occasional pictures. I saw it as quite a victory, and it made for a great prelude to the movie. The movie was good. My friends all liked it more than me, but I'd definitely read the book - I think there were just things that irked me that I was guessing were more clear in the novel and didn't translate as well into a screenplay, but I love Rachel McAdams, and the movie was nearly a tearjerker for me - but not quite.

After the movie we headed out in search of a restaurant. We were craving Thai or Indian food, so we went through a few cab drivers across the city in our search. We found a Thai place, finally, but, alas, it was closed. Still, a block away we saw a cute Ristorante Italiano, and we headed there for what turned out to be a fabulous meal with mediocre wine and sparkling conversation. It was great to just sit and chat with people about real life things. We spend so much time talking to children, using limited English and discussing elementary and middle-school topics, so having a free-flowing adult conversation is a real treat, and it was a really great group of people. I'm so glad to have found people I can connect with here, across all of our differences, which are many, and in a country not our own.

Now it's back to the work week. Last week's tests are over, so our regular classes begin again tomorrow, and the last three weeks of term are going to be the most challenging, I'm sure, because after their tests the students lose focus and check out. The tests are what determine whether they move up to the next class level in the next term, so these three weeks are just the purgatory where they wait. It's my job to keep them engaged and working despite that, so I'm going to have to amp up my energy. My first full payday is Tuesday, which is very exciting, so I'll be able to get a gym membership, pay my bills, and start saving up, so I think that in itself will help boost my energy for the students : )